Eastern Medicine, Beyond Value My Life Makes Sense

May 10, 2013

By Allison Bachmeier

Eastern Medicine, Beyond Value

My Life Makes Sense


Tears stream down my face on the drive in to the final day of class, relief washing over me in waves.  For the first time my life makes sense, the dots have been connected.
 
People often wonder what it is I learn when I go to BodyTalk and Life Science seminars.  Although every seminar is incredibly rich with healthcare techniques addressing body and mind in a uniquely individual and holistic manner that invariably profoundly impacts my practice, I very deeply appreciate the understanding and a-ha's that spontaneously bubble up and their import far outweighs the left brain knowledge in both it's impact in my personal life and my professional success.  I'd like to share one small sliver of my wealth of experiences afforded to me by the IBA.
 
As a child, from quite small, I avidly read daily for hours sometimes.  In those quiet moments I could feel this pulse inside of me, which felt quite soothing. All was right with my world in those still, quiet, joyful moments.  All problems fell away and life seemed simple during these moments.  As I grew up book time translated into textbook time and those hours were now devoted to work.  I slowly but steadily embraced the divorcing of myself as I began to more and more live in the intellect, dismissing my body and its feelings.  Plagued with migraines I successfully sought relief with BodyTalk.  Embracing the Life Science and BodyTalk seminars and treatments I grew more aware of the divide between living in my intellect versus experiencing.
 
I struggled to end the separation with myself and took seminar after seminar, session after session and tried every branch of yoga in my seeking.  I fearfully ran away from kundalini experiences in the beginning, not understanding its vital life force energy.  I intellectually knew that it was my body healing but experientially I at times resented the process of having to deal with these symptoms of my head pounding with headaches, insomnia and dramatic temperature changes to just name a few.  I treated each new symptom as yet another disease process to have work through; one more cross to bear.  With this attitude went hand-in-hand the belief system 'life is work', so inevitably I felt miserable and life became dry and hard.  I sought deeper training to teach this work.
 
There was also an underlying resenting of my life and my body, which quickly translated into feeling that my life was a burden to bear.  On top of it all, I continued to overreact because as a BodyTalk, BreakThrough, FreeFall Instructor I should know better!  This arrogance significantly compounded the burden.  Here I was failing at not upholding some image I had of being the perfect instructor and practitioner who thoroughly lived this work. 
 
The demystification of kundalini in this class explained so many events in my life and throughout this 3-day seminar I had constant flashbacks to different phenomena in my life that I had originally attributed to being mysteriously weird and really quite screwed up; all of which could all be readily explained.  For so long I thought I was a rare oddity, that I was the only one.  Even though I had talked to other people who had some level of similar experiences it was still 'that thing' that you weren't really supposed to talk about it seemed.  The taboo-ness of talking about kundalini was not only lifted during this course, but the information set every part of me at ease with the outlining of how kundalini is always a healing instrument.
 
What a relief to no longer run away from myself or resist this natural occurring healing life force energy.  Reconnected to the steadfast support that's always inside of me and the understanding that it's never been missing is one of my most profound experiences.  In BreakThrough 2 Esther Veltheim has repeatedly said that support often seems to come from the most unlikeliest of places.  Who knew I would ever find support from inside of myself with this thing that I had warily grown to distrust, put-up with and somehow manage.  This thing being not just kundalini, but really my birthright to live fully into all of myself.  All along it's been the thing that's kept me alive through an abusive childhood, through two rounds of cancer, through a miscarriage, through a divorce, through every one of life's ups and downs.  The deep understanding that the body is tremendously capable of healing and supporting us, even in seemingly our weakest moments, is one of those concepts that I had felt glimpses of occasionally and understood intellectually.  Now it seems so very clear, beyond all possibilities of doubt.    
 
I've found a kindness towards myself again, an ending of the war and the struggle within has allowed for a spontaneous bubbling up of enthusiasm for living and for my life.  Thank you with all of my heart, John and Esther Veltheim for being part of this unraveling and being such wonderful catalysts; it's an absolute privilege and pleasure to share this journey of life with you both.      

- Allison Bachmeier


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