John on Conflict
Printed from http://www.bodytalksystem.com//Learn/news/article.cfm?id=1205 on Jul 03, 2025.
Jan 20, 2025
By IBA Office
In the Finding Health Consolidated course, John shared some of his thoughts on conflict, catalysts and expectations. We wanted to share them here as they pertain to all the work we do in the IBA, but are especially relevant to BreakThrough work. All the work we do in IBA is aimed at healing the split psyche, but the process is the most direct in BreakThrough which works directly with conflict and our overreactions to it.
"Conflict is a very natural and important process. It instigates things. For things to happen, you need a conflict to catalyze it. And it has effects at all different levels. For example, in the body, an electron has to fire and displace a proton. Everything you see as you look around, there was always a conflict or catalyst that triggered it to happen.
"Very often, before you can get wisdom, you need a conflict to trigger it. In BreakThrough, we have lists of how we think each thing in life should be. These lists become set, rigid rules, so when people don't match something on our list, it will trigger a conflict.
"Conflict offers us an opportunity to learn from it. We have lists or ideas for everything: perfect parents, perfect in-laws, perfect children; perfect boss; perfect drive to work; perfect conversation. These are all our lists of expectations. When expectations aren't met, we experience a conflict and overreact.
"Overreactions merely cause stress for us. They cause us to shut us down and reinforce our list. We base our happiness on everything in life falling into alignment with our lists of expectations, which are often quite ridiculous. Our expectations are deeply ingrained and a part of our false identity.
"Of course, sometimes people are doing something that is inappropriate, but you shouldn't have to becomes stressed and unhealthy simply because another person has done something you don't like. When this happens, the world is controlling you."
--Dr. John Veltheim, Finding Health Consolidated seminar
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