The Power of Will
Printed from http://www.bodytalksystem.com//learn/news/article.cfm?id=1121 on Apr 24, 2024.
Oct 09, 2020
By Caroline Linton
My whole life I called myself weak.
I could never stick to anything. As a child, I would quickly get bored of the picture I was coloring and move on to the next thing that was more enjoyable. As a teen, I could never stick to a face-cleaning regimen or a healthy-eating diet. As an adult, I always wondered why I had such a hard time doing the things for myself that made me happy, such as yoga and eating healthy food. It was as if there was something hidden from me as to why I could not give myself the things I really enjoyed. As I seemed incapable of figuring this out, in the end, I put it down to me having no will. Consequently, I felt bad about myself all the time.
This state of affairs posed a real conundrum for me. I am a healthcare practitioner, knowledgeable about healthy eating and healthy living. Part of my role as a healthcare practitioner is to make suggestions to my clients as to what to implement in their lives for optimal health. Now here I was being thrown up against this huge contradiction and, as if I was not already feeling bad enough about myself, judging myself a total hypocrite.
Then, in recent months, I started attending Esther Veltheim's weekly online Satsangs (see article or register). They are very interactive. Together, each Saturday, we explore one or two different concepts; asking questions of ourselves we have never thought to ask before. A few times we touched on the topic of will, then, on one particular day, as we were exploring it more deeply, something shifted in me. I suddenly began to see will in a whole new way.
Clearly not coincidentally, around my usual bed time the night prior to Satsang, I had suddenly got a burst of energy and started furiously cleaning and tidying; loading the dishwasher; sorting the washing; and most efficiently completing so many other tasks that had been on my to-do list. All the while, I was keenly aware of the fact that I had very clear thinking. It was very practical: "do this," "now that." The energy was a clear force, and my responses to it were equally clear. Although I am explaining this to you now, at the time, no mental chatter or commentary was going on about what was happening. I was energized, acting without effort, moving from one thing to the next. It took me by such surprise and at the same time felt totally natural.
The next day in Satsang, will presented itself for exploration. The first question was: Q. WHAT IS WILL EXACTLY? As we began putting forward responses, I found answers coming from a crystal-clear understanding. Will was not at all what I had assumed it to be all these years. And that was key; I had never actually thought about or questioned the concept of will at all before this. I had simply assumed will to be a force that I did not have and desperately needed to get or build.
But on that day in Satsang, my whole perspective shifted. Suddenly, I understood clearly. Will is the life force inherent in everyone and is therefore never missing; we cannot lack will. I cannot make it and I cannot destroy it. Will pushes me to do things, or more clearly put, will is inherent in all my actions, whatever judgment my mind has about them. Will causes action and possibly the opposite, inaction. Living is will expressing itself.
The biggest revelation to me was this: I HAVE WILL. Even that is not quite accurate. I experience will all the time. Until that day, I had just never been aware of this fact. My assumptions about will had distorted my perception of will totally, and in so doing had distorted my perception of myself. My unquestioned assumptions had literally been blinding me to things as they actually are.
For so long, I had blamed myself for not having will and now everything had changed. This shift in perspective for me has been profound. Retrospectively, I now see that all the stories I had about will were the only problem, that nothing had actually, ever been hidden from me. It simply had not occurred to me to question my assumed convictions, because I assumed they were true!
This was the first time the power of asking simple, clear questions really hit me.
Since that day, the ripple effect of these understandings about will has been amazing. At the same time, everything feels totally natural as if that is the way life has always been. Where previously my mind presided as constant judge and jury over my every action and inaction, now practical actions happen with so much more ease. The previously constant stress of needing to control, or not being able to, seems to have evaporated. Now I simply act, doing whatever it is I am doing; yoga, eating, resting, goofing off, working, playing. Many of the things I did not allow myself before seem to be happening, but what stands out to me perhaps even more is that even my usual activities each feel somehow different.
View Caroline's course schedule.
I could never stick to anything. As a child, I would quickly get bored of the picture I was coloring and move on to the next thing that was more enjoyable. As a teen, I could never stick to a face-cleaning regimen or a healthy-eating diet. As an adult, I always wondered why I had such a hard time doing the things for myself that made me happy, such as yoga and eating healthy food. It was as if there was something hidden from me as to why I could not give myself the things I really enjoyed. As I seemed incapable of figuring this out, in the end, I put it down to me having no will. Consequently, I felt bad about myself all the time.
This state of affairs posed a real conundrum for me. I am a healthcare practitioner, knowledgeable about healthy eating and healthy living. Part of my role as a healthcare practitioner is to make suggestions to my clients as to what to implement in their lives for optimal health. Now here I was being thrown up against this huge contradiction and, as if I was not already feeling bad enough about myself, judging myself a total hypocrite.Then, in recent months, I started attending Esther Veltheim's weekly online Satsangs (see article or register). They are very interactive. Together, each Saturday, we explore one or two different concepts; asking questions of ourselves we have never thought to ask before. A few times we touched on the topic of will, then, on one particular day, as we were exploring it more deeply, something shifted in me. I suddenly began to see will in a whole new way.
Clearly not coincidentally, around my usual bed time the night prior to Satsang, I had suddenly got a burst of energy and started furiously cleaning and tidying; loading the dishwasher; sorting the washing; and most efficiently completing so many other tasks that had been on my to-do list. All the while, I was keenly aware of the fact that I had very clear thinking. It was very practical: "do this," "now that." The energy was a clear force, and my responses to it were equally clear. Although I am explaining this to you now, at the time, no mental chatter or commentary was going on about what was happening. I was energized, acting without effort, moving from one thing to the next. It took me by such surprise and at the same time felt totally natural.
The next day in Satsang, will presented itself for exploration. The first question was: Q. WHAT IS WILL EXACTLY? As we began putting forward responses, I found answers coming from a crystal-clear understanding. Will was not at all what I had assumed it to be all these years. And that was key; I had never actually thought about or questioned the concept of will at all before this. I had simply assumed will to be a force that I did not have and desperately needed to get or build.
But on that day in Satsang, my whole perspective shifted. Suddenly, I understood clearly. Will is the life force inherent in everyone and is therefore never missing; we cannot lack will. I cannot make it and I cannot destroy it. Will pushes me to do things, or more clearly put, will is inherent in all my actions, whatever judgment my mind has about them. Will causes action and possibly the opposite, inaction. Living is will expressing itself.
The biggest revelation to me was this: I HAVE WILL. Even that is not quite accurate. I experience will all the time. Until that day, I had just never been aware of this fact. My assumptions about will had distorted my perception of will totally, and in so doing had distorted my perception of myself. My unquestioned assumptions had literally been blinding me to things as they actually are.
For so long, I had blamed myself for not having will and now everything had changed. This shift in perspective for me has been profound. Retrospectively, I now see that all the stories I had about will were the only problem, that nothing had actually, ever been hidden from me. It simply had not occurred to me to question my assumed convictions, because I assumed they were true!
This was the first time the power of asking simple, clear questions really hit me.
Since that day, the ripple effect of these understandings about will has been amazing. At the same time, everything feels totally natural as if that is the way life has always been. Where previously my mind presided as constant judge and jury over my every action and inaction, now practical actions happen with so much more ease. The previously constant stress of needing to control, or not being able to, seems to have evaporated. Now I simply act, doing whatever it is I am doing; yoga, eating, resting, goofing off, working, playing. Many of the things I did not allow myself before seem to be happening, but what stands out to me perhaps even more is that even my usual activities each feel somehow different.
View Caroline's course schedule.
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